Something Good
by Zoey06
Summary: "I can't lose you I won't survive!" Alex finally confronts the love that never went away. As he gets a sign to seek out comfort from the one person he knows always loved him, Izzie! Giving him the push he needs to start his new life at 'Hopkins'. No longer a one shot - follows Alex to Hopkins!
1. Chapter 1

Updated!

A/N This is just a one shot (for now, but may add to it!) about Alex and his unresolved feelings for Izzie, following on from the end of season 8 – It contains no spoilers or references from season 9.

My first ever fan fic, so any feedback appreciated. (All characters belong to SR and ABC, I do not own them, because if I did things would be very different :)

* * *

**Something Good**

The mother of the boy in front of Alex was trying not to cry as she turned away from him. On the bed the boy fiddled with a cardboard sick bowl. Alex was doing rounds with a second year resident and a couple of first year interns. "Christopher Marshall, Post op, recovering well, but not tolerating food" the resident said to Alex.

"Okay, we'll need to check bloods." Alex said robotically, his mind elsewhere. He was going through the motions, but if he was honest his mind always seemed to be elsewhere these days, filled with some dark guilt ridden thought. He knew he should feel lucky, excited for the future. But somehow all he could feel was guilt, sadness and slight anger that bad things always seemed to happen to the people he cared about.

"I'm going to examine you now. Listen to your chest and feel your tummy." Alex said to the boy, as he rubbed his hands together warming them. "Take a deep breath for me."

With his fingers pressed in to the boy's abdomen, Alex suddenly froze as his eye caught something by the side of the bed.

Her anxious eyes studying Alex's every move, the boy's mother caught what he was looking at and clearly embarrassed said quickly. "I'm sorry, I've told him he's too young for those types of magazines…"

Aware of everyone's eyes on him, Alex just mumbled something in response, as he glanced back at the magazine on the side of the boy's bed, and his gaze fixed on the face of the skimpily dressed, glamorous blonde covering it. It was definitely her, those eyes, that hair, that smile, he'd recognise it anywhere it was his ex-wife, it was _Izzie._

….

Later that night Alex was sat alone at the bar. There were a few people he recognized from the hospital in there, but he wasn't really in the mood for socializing. He wanted to be alone, lost in his thoughts, as he quietly sipped his beer, still in shock at seeing Izzie on the front cover of a glossy men's magazine. Surprizingly, thinking about Izzie had been a welcome distraction from all the other shit his brain had been trying to process over the past couple of months. Whether he should abandon Seattle and Arizona to take his dream offer from Hopkins. How he could be a good friend to Arizona, Meredith and Cristina and how he could stop himself from turning in to the most detested man at the hospital by screwing every intern and nurse in sight.

Alex had no idea what had happened to his ex-wife after she'd left Seattle. As far as he was aware no-one else had kept in touch with her either. He'd wanted to call her, especially when she'd first left. But he was far too stubborn and in the beginning also a tad too bitter. When Izzie had left him, she'd broken his heart, she'd killed him and he'd been dead for a long time. But up until the recent tragic twist of events, he had slowly started coming back to life.

Despite the urge to call her and his thoughts in general about Izzie becoming less frequent, Alex still tended to think about her whenever anything major happened in his life. When he had passed his boards and got the offer from Hopkins, Alex had thought about how proud Izzie would have been of him. When he'd been sat at Webber's dinner, he'd hidden it, but he'd felt sad as he knew Izzie should have been sat there too. Then when he'd heard the news of the plane crash, he'd so badly wanted to call her, to tell her what had happened and to talk to her about how he felt. Izzie was the only person Alex had ever really let in. Throughout the entire course of his life, Izzie had been the one person Alex had let his guard down with and after their break up the walls had gone up again harder than ever.

Something had stopped Alex from calling Izzie after the plane crash though, as much as he had wanted to, he just couldn't seem to find the courage. But seeing her face again staring back at him from the cover of that magazine, Alex realized he had to contact her now, and tell her what had happened and apart from anything else he was curious. Why was she modelling again? What had happened to her ambition to become a surgeon? and just how exactly, had she managed to become so _damn_ hot again?

Plus, Alex knew Izzie would want to know what had happened to her friends. Izzie hadn't parted on great terms with Meredith and for that he also felt partly responsible. He knew if he hadn't told Izzie to go she wouldn't have left her friends and she would most probably still be in Seattle with them now, offering comfort to them, in that special way that only Izzie could.

But as he looked at his phone, Alex had no idea what he would say to her. Where would he start? Would she even want to hear from him? Would she even have the same number? So he decided on taking the easy option by sending her a text to test the water.

He took another long sip of his drink again as he debated what to say. Alex had never been good with words, or at expressing his feelings, so in the end he settled for three simple words.

_Dr Model eh?_

He then slowly and calmly placed his phone face down on the side of the bar beside him and picked up his bottle again.

If he had even expected a reply, he certainly hadn't expected one so quickly, as within seconds he heard the familiar beep to signal a new message. Causing adrenaline to flood his body and his heart rate to suddenly speed up, as with trembling fingers he turned his phone over to see for the first time in years there staring back at him was: _1 new message Izzie_. He opened it.

_Board certified surgeon actually : ) x_

As he read it, Alex smiled. It was typical Izzie, she had put a smiley face and kiss at the end to indicate the playful tone of her message. He remembered only too well, how he had always known he was in trouble if there was no kiss at the end of one of her messages.

He then paused as he pondered just what to send back to her in response, before he eventually sent.

_Impressive, brains and beauty. Where are you working? X_

Again she replied immediately.

_New York Pres. x_

Alex took a double take as he re-read her message. New York! How, the 'freakin' hell had she ended up there? He was also, more than a little surprized to find out she had even passed her boards, let alone was working at such a good hospital. If he was completely honest, Alex had half expected to hear that Izzie wasn't even practicing medicine anymore. So, he wasn't sure just how he felt about finding out she was doing so well. Happy?, relieved?, jealous?, bitter?!

He sent back his reply quickly, as they then exchanged a few texts.

_Good hospital! You enjoying it? X_

_Honestly, I love it! How about you? Still in Seattle? I bet you're on your way to hitting the big time. X_

_Still in Seattle for now, but got a ped's fellowship at Hopkins x_

_OMG! Alex! Hopkins! That's awesome! X_

Alex smiled, he knew she would react like that. He'd always known that no-one would be more excited for him than Izzie and he felt a warm glow spread across him, as he remembered just how much she'd loved him, and as he looked at her message again, he could almost hear her squealing, excited voice projecting out of the phone at him, as he sent back

_Thanks. Sounds like you're not doing too badly yourself though either! X_

She didn't reply straight away and for a moment he wondered if she actually would text him again, as he started to think he should have included a question at the end of his last message. He certainly didn't want their conversation to end there. He then breathed a small sigh of relief when his phone finally beeped again.

_So, when do you start at Hopkins then? x_

Alex paused, he'd actually, just for the short time they'd been texting, completely forgotten all about the current mess his life was in. Was he even going to Hopkins now? Where did he start to explain that in a text? How could he possibly sum up the past few weeks of his life in one message?

As he finished his drink, Alex realized he didn't want to text Izzie back. He wanted to speak to her, to hear her voice, to actually talk.

He threw his phone back in to his pocket and quickly tossed some money down on the bar, before stepping out on to the street and in to the nearest cab.

* * *

Back in his apartment Alex dumped his bag by the front door, grabbed another beer from the fridge and sunk back on the sofa.

Adrenaline filled his body again as he reached for his phone, scrolled down to Izzie's number and pressed call. She picked up after a few rings.

"Alex, I was just thinking about you." Her voice sounded subtly different. She sounded slightly less uptight than he remembered. But it was definitely her. It was definitely _Iz_.

"Izzie, hey. Umm…..I thought it would be better to actually call and speak to you. Because I didn't want to tell you this in a text, but I thought you should know, that something happened here, something bad!" As he spoke, he realized his voice was trembling slightly, as he hesitated and she interrupted him.

"I know," she said gently.

"What?"

"I know. Derek contacted me, Alex, he told me what happened."

Alex was lost for words, as she carried on talking, her voice having now taken on a slightly more awkward tone, as she said. "Alex, I'm so glad you rang. I wanted to call you and Meredith, believe me I did. But I didn't think you'd want to hear from me. Somehow, it seemed too late."

"It's not too late, Iz, I'm sure Meredith would still like to hear from you." Alex replied. He knew that whatever had happened, Meredith had missed Izzie almost as much as he had over the past few years.

There was an uncomfortable silence then, before Izzie said softly. "Alex, when I found out. I was so worried that _you_ might have been on the plane."

Alex felt a lump form in his throat, as he blurted out. "I was meant to be."

"_What?"_

"I had some stupid argument with Robbins about leaving and she took my place and now, well, she's not doing too well and it's all my fault. I was the one that was supposed to be on that damn plane, not her." He said, as he realized his voice had risen slightly and was starting to shake and he exhaled and swigged his beer. It had felt good to actually say out loud, what he had been thinking non -stop for the past few weeks. To let out some of the trapped emotion he'd been holding on to.

"But you weren't." Izzie then replied boldly. "It wasn't _your_ fault, Alex. You couldn't have known what was going to happen and you have to let those thoughts go. You're here, alive, with a fantastic future ahead of you, Alex. You're going to one of the top hospitals in the world."

"I'm not sure if I'm even going now." he replied slowly.

"You have to go, Alex. It's Hopkins. You can't stay in Seattle." Izzie said firmly and just like that, it didn't matter that they hadn't seen each other for years; they had slipped back in to their old roles. It was as though they were married again, or at the very least friends again.

Alex felt his voice quiver even more, as he replied. "Iz, it's complicated."

"No, it's not, Alex. Honestly, leaving Seattle was the best thing that I ever did. I'm not saying that I don't miss the people sometimes, Meredith and Cristina and….._you of course!_ But when I was there, I just seemed to stumble from one disaster to another and after everything that happened, all the incidents and the tragedies and then getting sick, it changed me and I was dragging everyone around me down, I was dragging you down. I was always one step behind everyone else. I was always made to feel bad for caring about my patients, so I changed who I was. I changed in to a person that in the end I barely recognized. Now, I care about my patients and I'm proud….I concentrate on the surgeries and nothing else and I finally feel like I'm back on track and where I belong. You have to get out of Seattle now, Alex, it will destroy you otherwise."

Alex twisted his beer bottle and took another long swig as he listened to her. He knew she was talking sense, and deep down he knew what he had to do. He had just needed to hear someone tell him that, and if he was honest, he knew that Izzie was the only person he would really listen to.

After a small reflective pause, Alex then changed the subject, as he said playfully. "So, anyway, you never did answer my question. How comes I'm in the middle of making my post op rounds today and I spot your face by the side of the bed of some horny teenage boy?"

Izzie let out a small awkward laugh, as she said. "It wasn't meant to go that big….I hoped no-one would see it. But, I did some modelling last year to clear the debt from my medical bills, it was nothing, but trust _you_ of all people to see it….. " she hesitated then, before adding with a flirty giggle "I've still got_ it_ though, the body that put me through med school!"

At that Alex laughed too, as he replied. "Well, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little surprized Iz.. ….About New York Pres too, how did that happen?"

"Oh, long story," she said, slightly dismissively.

"I've got all night," he replied.

"Well, actually it was down to Derek."

"Shepherd?" Alex said, sounding surprized.

"Yeah, I contacted him after I left, because I thought I was getting sick again." She hesitated, as she sounded more and more uncomfortable and went on to say. "I knew coming back to Seattle for treatment wouldn't be an option, so Derek put me in touch with his old boss in New York."

Alex suddenly felt nauseas, he'd tried not to think about Izzie getting sick again after he'd told her to go. He needed to know the truth though, as he said slowly. "Did you get sick again?"

"No, turns out it was a false alarm, but Derek kept checking in on me and he called in a favour to get me a job at his old hospital, where I completed my residency and have just started my fellowship." Izzie said, her voice back to the upbeat chirpy tone, that she had originally answered the phone with.

"That's great, Iz. I'm really happy for you." Alex replied as he realized he truly meant it.

* * *

"Geez…It's like freaking 5am." Izzie said. They had carried on talking and laughing all night, neither wanting to end the call, catching up on the last three years of thier lives. Alex had filled Izzie in on all the ups and downs and everything she had missed at Seattle Grace Mercy West. Izzie had told him all about her adventures in her new hospital.

Alex was still on the sofa, but he was considerably more relaxed than he had been when he'd first made the call hours earlier as he lay back with his legs stretched out and said "Have we really been chatting for over five hours?"

"Yep, oh crap, I need to jump in the shower, I need coffee. I'm due in to work. I'm performing a huge surgery today, solo." Izzie said excitedly.

As she carried on talking about the surgery she was doing later that day, Alex suddenly felt a rush of pride that she had managed to beat the odds and actually make it as a surgeon, when everyone around her had been so sceptical and doubted her ability after her illness. Everyone, except Derek Shepherd it would seem!

"Okay, I need to stop talking and get in to that shower now." Izzie said. Alex then pictured her on the other end of the phone and he couldn't help but wish he was there with her. If he knew Izzie, she would probably be lounging on her bed wearing some form or other of hot pink panties, with a tight top and her thick blonde hair would be spilling messily over her shoulders. She would be looking naturally beautiful and 'hot'. She was Izzie, she was always _'hot'_, he thought, as he suddenly felt his blood rush south and a subtle stirring in his pants at the thought of her stepping in to the shower.

Sounding more serious, Izzie then snapped him away from his fantasy, as she said. "I've really got to go, Alex. But promise you'll think about what I said. You have to go to Hopkins. You might not get this chance again."

"Iz." Was all he could say meekly in response.

"Alex, when I left, you told me that you deserved _better_ than a life with me. Well go and get that life and don't feel guilty, go to Baltimore and be happy, be a rock star."

Alex was silent then, as her words hit him. He'd been angry and hurt when he'd told her he deserved better than her. But speaking to her again, Alex realized that no matter what happened in his life from this point on, he would never find better than Izzie. Izzie always was and always would be, _the love of his life_.

Izzie broke the silence again, as with emotion coming through in her voice she said. "It was great speaking to you, Alex. I really am glad you called...I've missed you."

"I've missed you too. Take care, Iz" Alex replied gently, as he hung up and wiping his cheek with the back of his hand, he realized it was damp with the soft trickle of fresh tears and he was a little taken aback at the emotion just speaking to her again had stirred in him. Thinking, how the last time he had allowed himself to even shed a single tear, was the day Izzie had left him for good.

But before he could get too emotional, Alex heard his phone beep again and he looked down to see another text from Izzie.

_I forgot to ask, when you saw my picture, what did you think?_

_Honestly? _He sent back

_Honestly! _She responded straight away.

_I thought you looked hot!_

After sending the final message, Alex smiled and he made his way in to his bedroom to try and get a couple of hours rest before he started work.

* * *

Alex,put his hand up to his mouth and yawned, as walking though the hospital the next day on his way to get a coffee he spotted Derek Shepherd in the distance walking towards him. As he got closer, Alex simply gave Shepherd a friendly nod. After what he'd found out Shepherd had done for Izzie, Alex saw him in a whole new light. Of all the people he'd worked with over the years, Shepherd would honestly have been one of the last ones that Alex would have expected to have looked out for his ex-wife. Maybe Shepherd had done it because Izzie had been Meredith's friend and he'd thought she'd had no-one else, and seeing as he'd saved her life twice he should at least try and help her make it a good one. Or maybe he had just seen her potential to become a great surgeon. Whatever the reasons though, Alex would be eternally grateful to Shepherd for being there for Izzie when he hadn't been. He wasn't sure if he'd ever speak to Izzie again but at least he could feel content now that she seemed happy.

He hadn't been dreaming, he had actually spent the entire night on the phone to his ex-wife and speaking to her again it had honestly felt as though he had only seen her yesterday. He knew that it had probably been a mistake to speak to her for so long and to think about the past, that it would inevitably open up old wounds and lead to sad thoughts about what could have been. But somehow, Alex didn't see how it could have been so wrong, when it had felt so right to be talking to her again.

…..

Leaving work later that evening, Alex stopped by the room of Christopher, the boy he'd operated on the day before, the boy with 'the' magazine that had prompted him to contact Izzie. Christopher was asleep, as Alex quickly checked his chart and glanced across to see the magazine in question was still lying beside his bed. Alex's eyes focused for a brief moment on his ex-wife's beautiful face, as he thought of her, before placing the chart back at the foot of the bed and walking out.

After speaking to Izzie, Alex had actually felt happy for the first time in weeks and everything seemed a whole lot clearer in his head, as he realized she was right. He knew what he needed to do, he always had. He needed to start over, to get out of Seattle, sure he would miss everyone, but he'd meet new people, hopefully nice boring people with no dramas surrounding them. His career was what was important to him now. He had been given a chance to really make something of his life and he knew he had to take it. He already had more than enough regrets to last a life time, he didn't need any more.

Plus, a little voice buried deep inside his head kept saying_ 'Baltimore is a damn sight closer to New York than Seattle'_. As without really thinking about what he was doing, Alex found himself pulling his phone out of his jeans pocket and quickly typing out a text to Izzie.

_So, how'd the big surgery go then? x_

Smiling, he walked out of the hospital entrance, as he excitedly put his phone back in to his pocket, thinking about just what it would mean if it beeped again.

...


	2. Chapter 2

A/N - I felt the need to add a little more to this story. I don't actually watch the show anymore, but I think Alex and Izzie's story was always intended to end differently if KH hadn't left and I really hated how they ended so abruptly on the show, it kind of contradicted everything that had happened between them since the start! I get that Izzie had to be written out somehow, but I just hated how the writers actually did it! They completely changed the character of Izzie in the end. The awesome characters of Alex and Izzie, that _they_ created, would _never _have just broken up like that! Izzie wouldn't have left Alex in the first place, let alone not come back to fight for him after that end scene and Alex would never have just told her to go, when he was 'so' in love with her and she had come back to work things out with him! Even Shonda always said in the early days, they were made for each other and Iz will always be the love of Alex's life! So, this is for any other Alex/Izzie fans still out there, that wanted a different ending!

(Thank you to the people that inspired me to write this!)

* * *

Two weeks later

Alex scrabbled around in his coat pocket, trying to locate his keys, his hair dripping with rain water fresh from the heavy down pour he'd just got caught up in. His fingers suddenly froze as they touched the cold metal of his phone. The same phone that had been burning a heavy hole in his scrubs pocket all day. He had tried to pretend it wasn't there, ignoring the waves of nervous excitement that kept hitting him as he anticipated a reply to his latest message. A message that had been sent a good twelve hours ago. It had been the one thing that had kept him going through the tiresome and exceptionally rough day he'd just worked through.

Rough day, that actually didn't even begin to cover it. Alex, had been working for the past twelve hours. Dealing with seriously sick kids, hysterical parents, lazy interns and the wrath of the new stressed out chief of surgery. Alex, just wasn't sure if he was really made out for all the pressure that seemed to come with his new senior position. Plus, now that he'd made the decision to leave Seattle Grace, he just wanted to go. But he still had a few weeks left before he moved across the country and started his new life at Hopkins.

To top it all off, Arizona had yelled at him. Her eyes had been cold and full of misplaced anger as she had told him to leave then and there. Callie had said she didn't mean it and Alex knew that only too well. But it didn't stop him from feeling shit anyway.

Jackson had suggested a beer after work, but Alex had declined. Saying he just wanted to go home and crash. The truth being, he wasn't interested in socializing, he just wanted to be alone these days.

…

It had been the same every single day for the past couple of weeks, ever since _she _had come crashing back in to his life.

It had all started with some texting, followed by one very long, late night conversation. They had then text, or spoken to each other pretty much every day since. Exchanging mundane details about their lives; sharing private jokes, with just hints of subtle flirting. Alex wasn't quite sure what he was doing, but it felt good, too good, to have her back in his life.

It was something to look forward to each day. She was like a little glitter in the dark, after what had been happening all around him at Seattle Grace. Alex, also liked the fact that no-one else at the hospital had the slightest inclination that he was back in touch with Izzie and that they were speaking so frequently. Out of the few people he could actually call friends, Meredith and Cristina were too wrapped in their own lives and Jackson and April were too wrapped up in each other, and Arizona was, well, barely even speaking to him.

…..

As he slammed the front door shut behind him, shaking out his sopping wet hair and switching on the hall lights, Alex finally heard his phone buzz. He smiled to himself as he felt his stomach flutter slightly, without even looking at it he knew exactly who it was. Pulling his bag over his shoulder, he eagerly slid his phone out of his pocket and opened the message.

_Okay, so I've just fought through the packed subway to finally make it home after the day from hell, covering the pit with rude ungrateful interns. Seriously, were we ever that bad as interns? Hope your day was okay? Iz x_

Alex grinned, as he quickly typed out his reply and they then exchanged a few messages.

_Seriously, we were probably worse! Ax_

_Yeah, you're probably right. We were pretty awful, weren't we? Was fun though! ;) Iz x_

_Oh yes! Ax_

Alex smiled, as he thought back to their intern days and early years of residency. Although, it hadn't always seemed like it at the time, Alex could honestly say they were probably some of the happiest times of his life. Sure, they had been fraught with drama, but on the whole their biggest worries had been fighting over surgeries, which one of them had control of Bailey's sparkly pager and where the nearest on call room was to make out in.

'Making out' with Izzie. That was a thought that had crossed Alex's mind more than once over the past couple of weeks. It wasn't that he wasn't having sex, he'd slept with most of the women in the hospital, he was lucky if he could even remember half their names. But it wasn't the same, it was never the same, it was just sex, scratching an itch, releasing tension. It meant nothing to him. Making out with Izzie on the other hand, had meant everything. It had never been just _sex_, even in the early days of making out in linen closets. It had been something much deeper. He'd fallen in love with Izzie and sex had been his way of expressing, just how much he loved her.

It was around ten minutes, before his phone buzzed again. Giving Alex enough time to change and spread out lazily on his bed with a beer, as he read Izzie's next message.

_So, what you up to this evening? I am officially getting old, in bed already. My apartment is freezing, really need to get my damn boiler fixed! X_

Alex sighed, as he remembered only too well when they used to live at Meredith's, how they used to come home most nights from their exhausting shifts at the hospital and go straight up to bed together and just crash out. Those were the times he missed the most. When they would just lie together chatting and she would fall asleep in his arms. Somehow, he'd never seemed to be able to replicate that kind of intimacy with anyone else.

Maybe it was the shitty day he'd just had. Maybe it was just nostalgia, or maybe it was just an urge that simply wouldn't go away. But something, had made Alex write out his next message and take their flirting to the next level, as he typed out his reply and hit send before he really had time to think about it.

_I'm in bed too, so I guess we're both getting old! Iz, would it be wrong to say your bed would be a lot warmer if I was in it with you? X_

To his instant relief, she replied immediately.

_Alex, how could it be wrong? When there is nothing I would like more x_

_Iz, I miss us x_

_I miss us too Alex. Where did it all go so wrong? X_

Alex just stared at his phone. He re-read the message several times. This was a question he had asked himself so many times and still, years later, he had no real answer to it. So, he typed out the only real answer he had.

_I guess life got in the way Ax_

_Life? or cancer? Iz X_

_Iz, can I call you? X_

_Yes x_

Alex was shaking slightly as he pressed call. He really wasn't sure what he was doing, or where it was leading. He knew he was playing with fire as soon as he heard her voice say softly. "_Alex"_

"Iz, it's so good to hear your voice after the day I've had." Alex simply said, as he exhaled slightly.

"Alex, what are we doing?" Izzie then replied slowly.

"I don't know." Alex said quietly, as he paused and sighed, before saying. "All I know is speaking to you again, Iz, it's made me realize just how much I still miss being with you." He ran his hand through his hair, this was the most open he'd been since they had started talking again. Alex wasn't sure if he would regret it, he'd sworn he wouldn't become vulnerable again.

"Oh, Alex. I miss being with you too. But we got divorced. You ended our marriage, remember." Izzie replied, with a slight edge of bitterness.

Alex frowned and raising his voice slightly, he said "_I _ended our marriage. Izzie, _you_, were the one that ended our marriage, when you left and filed for the freakin divorce."

"_I _came back for you. I wanted our marriage to work. I beat the cancer, yet you still broke up with me. You cheated on me, I was heartbroken. You told me to leave and to never come back, what was I supposed to do?" Izzie exclaimed.

"I was angry and hurt when I send those things, Iz. I thought you would realize that and come back and fight for me, but instead, you just sent divorce papers." Alex winced at the memory of the unbearable pain he had experienced the day he had realized she was never coming back.

A long uncomfortable pause followed, as Izzie finally said gently. "Alex, I didn't have any fight left in me. I never got the chance to ever really say this to you. But, I'm sorry I left and I'm sorry I didn't come back and fight for _us_. I needed to go away, I needed time to heal and I wanted to set you free. I wouldn't have survived otherwise, Alex. It was never anything to do with how I felt about you, how much I loved you. You can see that now, can't you?"

Alex rubbed his chin, deep down he _had_ already known all of that but finally hearing her say it felt good. He took a deep breath as he braced himself to say the words that for a long time he had thought he would never get the chance to say either. "I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I slept with someone else and I'm sorry I said what I did to you when you came back."

Again, there was a pause, before Izzie spoke again."Alex, I've changed now. I'm not the same girl that walked out on you. For a long time, I wasn't ready to deal with what happened to me, which is why I cut myself off from everyone back in Seattle. But, I finally feel as though I'm back to my old self and I can put it behind me now."

"Iz, I've changed too. Believe it or not, I've grown up a lot. I'm not the same guy that you left behind either."

Alex suddenly felt a deep sense of relief. Perhaps, having this brief, awkward conversation, had been what the past couple of weeks casual texting had been all about and eventually leading up to. Alex had told himself he wouldn't go there, discuss the past with her and open old wounds. But now that they had he felt much better for it. They had both said what they had needed to.

So was it the closure that they both so badly needed? Enabling them to finally move on. Somehow, Alex sensed it wasn't, that he would never move on from his one true love. That it was far from closure. It was the start of something new, _something good!_

….

They talked for a while longer, before Alex finally said clumsily. "So, I was thinking, I'm not working this weekend and I was going to take a trip over to Baltimore, check out some apartments and stuff and I was wondering, maybe I could stop by….umm…. I mean, if you're not too busy….I could perhaps stop by New York first…"

Alex paused as he felt the blood rush around his body and his heart thump loudly in his chest as he waited for Izzie to say something. When she didn't reply straight away, he jumped back in and said. "Or, maybe not, bad idea, forget it!"

Izzie let out a small laugh then and he could picture her face, it took him back and it was almost as though she was there in the room with him, as she said excitedly. "Alex, would you like to come to New York and stay with me at the weekend?"

As the realization of what she had just said hit him. Alex felt adrenaline flood his system. What the hell was he doing? A million and one reasons flashed through his head as to why he should just say goodbye, hang up the phone and never speak to her again. But just one simple reason, overshadowed all of that. He had tried to keep his feelings locked deeply away, but now he had to confront them. _He still loved her! He'd never stopped._

Alex then said, as casually as he could. "Well, okay, whatever, if that's what you want." Unable to stop his face from breaking in to a wide excited grin. After all the many nights, over the past few years, that he'd laid awake dreaming about it, he was now actually _going to see her again!..._

_..._


	3. Chapter 3

A/N - Thanks so much for the response to this story and the people that contacted me to ask me to continue with it. Again I wasn't planning to write more, but I agree the last chapter was kind of left a little hanging and needed a little more. It's great that there's still a lot of love for Alex and Izzie :) So I hope this does them justice.

* * *

Izzie stepped out in to the chilly New York evening, shivering as she wrapped her beige Burberry coat tightly around herself. She'd been in New York for over two years now, but she still viewed the bright lights and bustling commotion of the place with a sort of romantic delight, walking around starry eyed at the city that had brought her back to life, as it started to feel more comfortable and familiar with each day that passed.

She quickened her step as she glanced at her watch. Her insides quivering uncontrollably as she made her way through the busy streets. She had felt full of restless energy ever since she had got up that morning, anticipating coming face to face again with the man that had broken her heart so painfully years before.

The end to their relationship had felt cruel and wrong. Izzie had still loved Alex when they had got divorced and she had felt certain that he had still loved her too. You didn't just get over what they'd had in a few months. But he'd wanted her to go, he couldn't deal with the hurt anymore and she'd respected that, even thought it had taken her years to accept it.

Izzie wasn't quite sure why she was meeting him again after all this time, was it playing with fire? When everything else in her life seemed to have moved on. Her career, her friendships, her outlook. But some things, she felt certain would never move on. And it just felt _right_ to be seeing Alex again now.

Alex had been slowly creeping back in to her life for the past few weeks now. Ever since that one night when she had received a single cryptic text message from him out of the blue, it had been as though they had both felt an uncontrollable pull towards each other. Unable to let go. Now that they'd made the first steps to becoming part of each others lives again.

But, however much the texts and phone calls had sparked her to think and fantasize about him again, knowing that he still cared. Izzie knew it would only be when she actually saw him again, when their eyes finally locked, that she would truly know whether the love that they had felt so strongly for each other still existed. Or whether meeting up again was purely about saying goodbye properly and closing the door on that chapter of their lives once and for all.

...

Alex shifted nervously on the spot, blowing in to his hands to keep warm, before he pulled his phone out of his pocket, glancing at the time, she was late, nearly twenty minutes. Nothing new there though, this was Izzie he thought fondly as he was hit with another flood of nerves _What if she had second thoughts? What if she didn't show?_

He twitched slightly, feeling more uncomfortable, like a fish out of water. Alex wasn't used to being away from Seattle, from the hospital. Apart from the few occasions he was forced to go home to Iowa to visit his troublesome family, Alex pretty much never took trips away. In the past eight years his whole life had revolved around the walls of Seattle Grace hospital. He only socialized with other doctors and on the rare occasion he did find himself in another situation, he felt socially awkward and unsure of himself. Here in the bustle of New York it was no exception. He took a deep breath, trying to embrace the sensory impact and frenetic energy of the city, as he continued to wait for her.

Then Alex's heart stopped for a second, as he saw blond hair in the distance, it was her. He'd still recognise her anywhere. Walking straight towards him, looking more beautiful than she had any right to, was Izzie! She looked the picture of health and happiness, just as she had when he had first known her. Her hair was back to it's light shiny blonde and it was falling in loose waves over her shoulders, her skin was glowing and flawless, her eyes were bright and her smile brighter. A smile that sucked the air out of his lungs, as Alex remembered only too well, 'that smile' was only ever for him and when ever he saw it, it made him feel as though he could take on the world.

"Alex," Izzie said excitedly, as she approached him, her smile widening as she looked at him and full of emotion, she gushed. "You're here."

Unable to take his eyes off her, Alex could only stare, stunned, as he simply replied "I'm here!"

And just like that all their anxieties about seeing each other again instantly vanished as Izzie flung her arms around his neck and for that brief moment the world stopped turning. As Alex's body fell so effortlessly against Izzie's again and he held her close to him, putting his hand up to gently touch the back of her hair, exhaling against her and breathing in her scent. He wasn't quite sure why, but somehow he had found his way back to her and he knew that there would never be another woman on earth that could make him feel the way he was feeling right now.

Izzie was shaking slightly, he smelt amazing, cologne, mixed with some bodywash, maybe. It felt so natural to sink in to his muscular chest again. Eventually they broke apart and Izzie looked straight at him. He looked the same, a little older maybe and more lined, but he still had that charismatic, confident handsomeness that she had fallen for so many years ago. Although here now he looked a tad awkward and on edge and it almost reminded Izzie of how he had behaved when they first dated back in their intern days.

"Okay, so seeing as you're here in New York tonight, I think we should celebrate, get some food, head to a couple of bars", Izzie said excitedly again, adding. " I know a great Italian."

Alex didn't reply straight away, he just looked at her, realizing after only a couple of minutes of actually seeing her in person, looking in to her eyes, _she really was back_. His Izzie. The girl he had fallen so deeply in love with before all the crap got in the way. The cheating, the cancer, the running away and then finally the divorce!

"Okay, great,"he finally replied warmly, aware of her looking at him expectantly.

...

Walking down the street, the urge to touch her again was immense as they walked closely side by side and Izzie chatted away. Alex had been a little worried that when they eventually saw each it would be awkward, but as Izzie launched in to a story about one of her patients he felt instantly at ease in her company. He was glad they'd got all the deep, emotional crap out of the way before they saw each other. Here it just felt easy, like starting again.

...

Reaching their table inside the low lit, trendy Italian eaterie, Izzie carefully took off her coat, feeling suddenly a little subconscious as she couldn't help but notice Alex's eager eyes slide over her profile in her fitted black dress. She wasn't quite sure why, he had seen her naked many, many times. But somehow here, despite all the late night suggestive phone calls and texts that had gone on between them recently, now that they were actually face to face it felt a little weird. Almost as though they were on a first date all over again.

Alex felt his cheeks flush with instant arousal as he snuck a look at Izzie's body, his thoughts running away as he pictured what she would look like underneath her dress. He had figured she would be in good shape again from the magazine photos he had seen of her, but actually seeing her here in the flesh, she was looking hotter than ever.

"Okay, one raspberry martini and one beer." The waiter said, as he brought their drinks over to their table.

"You still drinking those things?" Alex said with an amused smile as Izzie picked up her bright red cocktail.

"Yep, some things never change," Izzie said smiling back at him, raising her eyebrows with a flirty giggle.

"They certainly don't." Alex replied suggestively.

Izzie looked away and blushed as she smoothed down her dress and scanned the menu in front of her, picking up her drink to lightly sip it as she bit her lip, her appetite increasing by the second.

After they had ordered Alex took a long swig of his beer, before he said, looking at Izzie intently. "You seem to fit right in here, Iz. You see yourself staying long term?"

She let out a small laugh and looked away as she said. "Mmmm.. gosh, I really don't know. I mean, I love it here and the thought of leaving terrifies me. My friends, my job, my apartment. But, I guess after the last few years, I just try to take each day as it comes." And she looked him directly in the eye, as he nodded in agreement.

Izzie swallowed as she twisted the stem of her glass. Everything she had said was true, she tried not to plan for the future too much. But despite initial reservations, thoughts of a future that could now include Alex had more than crossed her mind over the past few weeks. It could be fate, chance, or just the inevitable result of a feeling that would never go away, but she was back, sat across from the once 'big love of her life'. Something that she certainly hadn't seen coming in recent times.

Alex pressed his lips together as he took in her words about her long term plans, trying to work out what they meant to him. He knew it was early days, he had only been back in her company for a couple of hours, and no matter how great it felt, he couldn't allow himself to think of the future long term with Izzie. He needed to remain guarded, cautious. Izzie had the power to hurt him like no-one else had and here he was aching to be with her again, picturing what it would be like to not only make love to her again, but to fall asleep every night with her in his arms.

"That's great, Iz." He then replied quickly, trying hard not to give his feelings away.

"How about you? I hear Baltimore's such a vibrant city, you think you'll like it there?" Izzie said.

Alex shrugged, replying. "I guess. I mean Hopkins has always been the dream."

...

The rest of the evening seemed to fly by. Izzie had forgotten how funny Alex was, how he could make her laugh out loud hysterically at the littlest thing. As he spoke she sucked in a deep breath, trying to concentrate on the conversation, but it was impossible, he was just right there in front of her, driving her mad again with his sexy smile. Causing her mind to wander to thoughts of what might happen later, as she fantasized about the feel of his body against hers and the blood rushed around her body in anticipation.

The most physical contact they'd had so far was the warm, tender hug, upon first seeing each other. But it had left them both longing for more and with each brief moment of eye contact, accidental hand brush or gentle touching of leg under the table, the tension built more and more and the urge for each other grew stronger. The familiar chemistry between them more abundant than ever.

...

Alex placed his empty beer bottle down on the table and glanced around the now nearly empty restaurant, as he looked for the waiter to come over to their table.

"You want to get a coffee?" Alex said as he leaned back in his chair, giving Izzie the perfect view of his toned chest and abs in his fitted sweater, driving her more than a little crazy.

Izzie blinked, her heart racing as she looked at him through her long eyelashes, her face illumined from the soft glow of the candle placed at the centre of their table. The heady rush of the evenings cocktails spurring her on, as she said. "Well, I actually have some real fresh Italian coffee back at my apartment. I could make you one if you want?" Chewing her lower lip tentatively as she looked at him, waiting for his response.

He didn't reply immediately. He just looked away, as though he was deliberating his response. Izzie felt her cheeks flush as she glanced down at her glass. _Had she completely misread the signals?_ It had kind of remained unspoken between them, that Alex would be staying at her apartment. A thought that gave her an overwhelming flutter of butterflies. But now she wondered if that was actually never his intention, that she'd been too quick to assume and he was actually planning on getting a hotel, and her heart stopped.

But before she could get too disappointed. Alex's lips curled in to a mischievous grin as he said "Real fresh Italian coffee sounds great."

Alex felt his nerves tingling at the prospect of what he wanted to do to her back at her apartment. As much as he had enjoyed the last couple of hours, that 'one' thing had been on his mind the whole night and despite the insecure and defensive side of him wanting to push her away, to protect himself from becoming open and vulnerable again. He knew he'd changed over the last few years, he'd developed as a person and grown up. The 'old' Alex would have freaked out a little at the depth of his feelings and been cagey and closed. But here now, there had never been any real doubt in his mind precisely what he wanted to happen next. He had already felt better in himself from just the short time he had spent with Izzie again. He was truly thankful she still looked at him the way that she did, because in a funny way he felt certain she'd saved him all over again. And he smiled across at her as he watched her take a final sip of her drink, swirling it around her mouth and swallowing it as she flashed him a flirtatious smile back.

...

Walking out, acutely aware of all male eyes fixed firmly on Izzie, Alex felt a quick stab of jealousy as he settled his hand protectively on the small of her back. Izzie flinched immediately as the sensation of his touch rippled through her.

...

"It's freezing," Izzie said, her hair blowing across her face as they stood outside in the bitterly cold night waiting for a cab. Back when they were married, Izzie would have clung on to Alex affectionately, stealing his body heat. But here that didn't seem entirely appropriate, as she hung back, just settling for nestling herself a little closer to his side. As she suddenly felt his hand gently reach for hers, wrapping their fingers together and lightly brushing the top of her hand with his thumb in the process, causing a bolt of electricity to jolt through her.

Izzie then turned to look seductively at him and Alex looked straight back in to her eyes. Being here with her now was almost dream like and a million miles away from the world he'd left behind in Seattle, a world where he'd survived without her. But everything that had happened over the past few years of his life seemed almost irrelevant now, as he felt strangely that he was right back where he belonged.

Moving in fast, he swept her hair from across her face and kissed her. Releasing all the chaotic energy and built up emotion that had been intensifying inside them.

As he kissed her furiously, Izzie felt herself melt against him, she was aching for him, he smelled so good, so familiar. His body felt perfectly right next to hers, as her heart thundered and a hot trickle of arousal spread across her. She still wanted him, the desire hadn't gone away, not for a second.

Eventually they broke apart and pressing his hard body further in to hers, Alex's voice lowered intimately as he whispered _"Back to yours!"_

* * *

A/N - I could end things here, but I am always open to making more to this story if people are still interested :)


	4. Chapter 4

A/N - This chapter gets a little hot in places! :) Not sure it's quite an M (yet!).

* * *

Alex was lying facing Izzie in bed. His eyes fixed intently on her, displaying a mixture of amazement, joy and contentment. It had been a long time since he had felt like this! He was in awe. Izzie was as hot, stunning and incredible in bed as she had always been. Nothing had changed.

With her blonde hair spread across the pillow, Izzie smiled shyly back at him, her eyes twinkling mischievously, as they both tried to process the last few hours since their return back from the restaurant.

* * *

The street lights had made them dizzy as they had sped back in the taxi. Sliding out and in to the street their faces had instantly been stunned with the cold chill and with Alex's hand firmly on the small of Izzie's back they had stumbled up the steps in to her apartment both thinking, what next?

…...

All thoughts of coffee abandoned, Izzie had immediately produced a bottle of tequila, waving it at him as she playfully hoisted herself up to sit on one the worktops. Alex had been quick to prize it out of her fingers, pressing himself in to her, cupping her face with both hands as he leaned in to taste her again. The kiss, passionate and urgent.

Somehow they had managed to find their way in to her bedroom. Neither of them having the chance to stop and think about what they were doing. Their desire for each other intensifying by the second, as Alex had whispered breathlessly, "Iz, are you sure you want to do this?"

Izzie had simply nodded, her cheeks flushed with arousal as he responded. "Because this time, Iz, I'm not sure I can let you go."

Then it had all been so easy, so effortless. Just as it always had been. Their bodies finding the perfect rhythm again, click.

* * *

Izzie could still feel her heart racing as her wide eyes looked dreamily back at Alex as he held her later, both still on a high. And it hit her there wasn't a man alive that could do the things that he could to her. She had dated other people since leaving Seattle. One or two even a little seriously, but it had all been 'just fine'. Then Alex had come back in to her life again, and wow! Both finding the exact same things to laugh at and remember, looking at each other at the exact same time in the exact same way. And it was so far beyond fine that she realized she could never go back to 'just fine' ever again.

She pressed her breasts in to his chest, as she sensed his fingertips trailing up her inner thigh again and she giggled as he smiled back at her. He pulled himself on top of her again, looking deep in to her eyes, and it was at that moment that they both knew, there was _no_ going back.

* * *

"Wow, that was just wow!" Izzie said a huge grin on her face again, as she looked up at the ceiling, sensing the soft light of dawn filling the sky outside her window. They had been up all night.

She turned to rest her head on Alex's shoulder, sinking naturally in to his muscular chest, closing her eyes, as he wrapped a strong arm firmly around her.

Alex_ never_ cuddled after sex. He rarely even spent the night with anyone, if he could help it. For the past three years he had kept his emotions and sexual encounters firmly separated. He was a robot. But here with Izzie, he had lost all control again, just like that. He wasn't sure whether that made him happy or frustrated. He was addicted to her.

…..

The room was flooded with daylight as Alex woke later to the sensation of Izzie's touch again, causing him to let out a small growl in to the pillow as he said. "I forgot how frickin good you are at that.."

Izzie's face was full of mischief. They had both barely slept. It becoming more and more obvious they had a lot of catching up to do.

* * *

It was well in to the day, when after falling back to sleep again, they were both stirred awake, by the low buzzing of Alex's phone from where it lay discarded on the bedroom floor. Izzie looked at him curiously as he ignored it and just moved closer to her, wrapping his arm around her lazily. She looked down to where his phone was on the floor. She knew it wasn't her place to ask any questions, they weren't together, not officially.

"Did you tell anyone back in Seattle you were here?" She settled on saying casually, after his phone had stopped ringing.

"Nah.." He replied sleepily.

"Really, how come?" Izzie said.

"Umm.. guess it just didn't come up in conversation," he replied again sleepily, it wasn't a big deal to him.

Izzie wasn't quite sure why that stung a bit, but it did. Was it a sign that seeing her had just been a casual thing for him, or worse still was he ashamed? Did he think his friends would think less of him for being with her again. She bit her lip as she realised she was being ridiculous. This was Alex. The guy who had asked if he could screw other people as a way of telling her he had wanted them to get serious years before. He didn't open up easily, she knew that. Plus, she had only told her one person herself that she was seeing Alex again, her closet friend here in New York, and the look on her friends face had said it all. _"What your ex-husband? The ex-husband that_ _cheated on you, that told you to go away and to never come back, when you were still recovering from cancer?" _Izzie had been fiercely defensive of Alex then, she knew it hadn't been like that at all. They had both played their part in the break-up of their marriage, but hearing her friend speak, it made Izzie realize just how bitter she must have been when she had first arrived in New York and it had all been so raw still. She looked back at Alex now spread out in her bed and her heart skipped a beat, despite everything she was _crazy _about him still.

He opened his eyes fully then, putting his hand up to touch her face, as she said gently. "Do you ever think about where we would be now, if I hadn't got sick? I mean, do you think things would have turned out better?"

He exhaled a little as he replied. "They'd be different. There would still have been challenges though. Who knows?"

"But, do you think we'd be happy?" Izzie said intensely.

Alex looked away, he was never entirely comfortable with 'what if' conversations. But in his heart that he'd always known he would marry Izzie, even back in the days when they were just interns fooling around, pretending to hate one another. He'd known he loved her and that she was the one for him. He was the best man he ever was with her. She made him complete. She always would.

"We'd be happy, okay…. We'd be married with a load of freaking kids running around... and animals. And we'd have the house we always wanted, the one with the back yard and the real fireplace and the double range cooker for all your stupid baking."

"Baking that I'd have to do every time you were a jack ass and pissed me off." Izzie said sniggering, her eyes shining as she pictured the life they could have had if things had been different. And she realized Alex remembered it all too. The many conversations they'd had about their future when they'd been so happy living at Meredith's and then in Derek's trailor.

"Which would never happen, unless you deserved it." He teased back, grinning.

Izzie giggled in response as she said. "Yeah, we would be happy? We'd both be rocking it as a surgeons, but we'd have the family too. It wouldn't be easy, we'd be tired, and we're both stubborn so we probably would push each other's buttons a lot. But it would be worth it. And the sex,_ the sex,_ would be awesome, every night we weren't on call…"

"Now that part I like!" Alex replied a huge grin spreading across his face, as he flipped her quickly on to her back, pinning her down, lightening the moment before either of them had the chance to get too sad or sappy about what could have been.

Izzie pushed him away gently as she said, "Don't you have to be in Baltimore today?"

Alex sighed as reality kicked in a little and he remembered he'd made appointments to view apartments for his imminent move to Hopkins. Realising sooner or later he would have to get up and out of bed, leaving both New York and Izzie.

"Yeah, I should make a move soon I guess." He said slowly.

"I don't want you to go." Izzie quickly said softly as she buried her face in his neck again. She knew she should remain more guarded and cautious. But she'd seen the way he had looked at her the night before and she'd remembered what he'd said to her too, before they'd had sex the first time. He'd said he couldn't let her go this time. She brought her head up to look at him, to see he looked deep in concentration, making her wonder just for a split second if he'd actually meant it or if he'd just got carried away with the moment the night before.

Then he pulled her in to him close again as he exhaled and said. "I don't want to go either."

They were both silent then, contemplating that thought when Alex suddenly said. "How do you fancy taking a road trip?" Causing Izzie's eyes to light up magically as she broke in to a wide beaming grin….


	5. Chapter 5

I've been missing Alex and Izzie again a lot recently, so felt the urge to write the next chap :) Hope you like it.

* * *

"Alex, this place is great." Izzie exclaimed, wide eyed, as she looked around the luxurious, open plan apartment that Alex had arranged to view in Baltimore.

Alex rubbed his forehead as he just nodded. He was trying to concentrate on the job in hand, to sort out a suitable place to live before he started his new job at Hopkins. But he just seemed to be in a complete daze, feeling a little hung over and sleep deprived, as he kept getting sweet flashbacks to the _hot_ all night sex he'd had with Izzie the night before in New York.

He glanced sideways at her, catching her eye for a split second and she blushed as if sensing what was going through his mind as she quickly looked away and walked towards the window.

Izzie couldn't control the huge smile that seemed to have been permanently etched on her face ever since they had left New York. The slight ache between her legs reminding her, that it was a long time since she'd had sex _that_ good and being around Alex now was just making her desperate for more. She twisted her long blond hair around her finger as she looked out of the window and said. "These views are awesome."

Alex just nodded again, clutching the viewing details tightly in his hand as they both turned to follow the real estate agent, as she gestured for them to walk towards the hallway. She was a friendly woman in her mid fifties and she chattered busily as she showed them around. "As you can see it has recently been refurbished to a very high standard, has a real fireplace, panoramic views of the city skyline and two decent sized bedrooms….Which, I'm sure will come in very handy for a young couple like you. I'm sure you must be thinking about starting a family soon." She said with a knowing smile, as she added, "And I have to say the schools around here are excellent too."

Alex flinched a little as neither he nor Izzie corrected the woman and it felt pretty good to pretend just for that brief moment that they were still a young married couple, hopelessly in love and looking to start a family, with everything to look forward to. Then Alex felt a lump form in his throat as he looked at Izzie to see the sadness in her eyes. If things had been different they probably would be trying for a baby now, that's if they didn't already have one or two already. But they couldn't change the past he had to keep reminding himself.

Picking up on the slight atmosphere the agent then said a little more seriously. "Right, well I'll just give you a moment. I'll go down and wait for you outside. But, if you do decide to go for it, act fast. This place has just come on the market, you're the first to view it and let me tell you places like this get snapped up very quickly."

Hearing the door close behind the woman, Izzie wandered in to the main bedroom. "Wow, you have a double fitted closet, Alex." She said excitedly as he followed her in.

"Great, because I was worried I would run out of room for all my shoes." He said sarcastically.

"You have to take it." She said, turning and grinning as she saw him, causing a subtle warmth to quickly spread inside him. He really hadn't paid much attention to what the apartment was actually like when he had hastily arranged the viewing, it was just near the hospital and within his budget. But here now Izzie was right, it already felt like home.

* * *

"I'll take it." Alex said as he sat across the desk from the real estate agent.

"Wonderful…I'm sure your wife was swayed by the walk in closets." She replied, beaming back at him.

Alex was about to explain that Izzie wasn't his wife and it would just be his name on the lease when she slid a contract across the desk and said. "Just need a few signatures, and as I said on the phone we need to see a copy of a recent utility bill, reference and the deposit must be paid today in full."

"Right," he replied, as he fumbled to produce the documents and his wallet from his bag. Before quickly signing the contract in front of him and handing her the cash.

…..

"There you go, one set of keys and I hope you and your beautiful wife will be very happy there." She said as she handed him a brand new set of shiny keys.

* * *

"So?" Izzie said expectantly as he met her outside the office and she handed him a steaming cup of fresh coffee.

"I took it." He said grinning as he held up the keys.

"Congratulations." She screeched as she flung her arms around his neck, crushing him slightly.

"Thanks." He replied, amused at her reaction. As they broke apart and he looked down at his coffee, raising his eyebrows as he said. "You fancy celebrating with something stronger?"

* * *

"We _really_ need to get you some furniture." Izzie giggled as she sat on the floor next to Alex, sipping her wine out of one of the cheap glasses that they'd picked up from the store on the way back to his new apartment.

"Nah, I quite like the contemporary look." He said smirking, as he looked behind her at the impressive view of the bright lights on the city skyline, out of the large panoramic windows.

"Contemporary or baron?" She replied as she yawned and looked at her phone. "Jeez, it's nearly ten," she exclaimed as she realized there was no way she was getting back to New York tonight now. A tingle of excitement spreading over her as she thought about what they could now do alone in Alex's new apartment, as she shivered and strategically placed herself closer to him snuggling against his muscular chest.

Alex immediately stirred at having her so close to him, as she rested her head on his shoulder, just like she always had when they had been married, and suddenly he felt very horny again as he realized they would definitely be spending the night together again.

He knew he should say the gentlemanly thing and offer to sleep in the front room while she had the bedroom, but he also knew there was no way he would be able to sleep in a separate room to her, _no way._

Instead he lightly caressed the small of her back, working his fingers up and under her top. Izzie, instantly feeling a jolt of electricity at the sensation of his touch. She turned her head to look at him and with his other hand he brushed her hair away from the side of her face as he gently lifted her chin and leant in to kiss her.

…..

"We should move in to the bedroom," Alex whispered, breaking off the kiss and nibbling at her neck passionately. With their hearts pounding, they stood up and stumbled back in to the large bare bedroom, tearing at each clothes, both desperate for each other again.

* * *

It was several hours later, when they finally collapsed together on the cold hard floor under the comfort of just a single sheet. Izzie slowly closed her eyes as she lay wrapped up in Alex's arms. And as he felt her trembling body relax against his a slow satisfied smile crept on to his lips as he kissed the top of her head. In the space of a few hours they'd managed to christen both his new bedroom and en-suite shower.

...

Fidgeting as he lay awake Alex listened to Izzie's slow breathing, realizing she wasn't asleep either and he suddenly wondered if it had been a mistake to bring her here with him. He wondered how he'd feel when she left. This was supposed to be a new beginning for him, but was he going to end up right back where he had started. _Could he survive without her now?_ Then he thought about the past couple of days that they had spent together and he felt an acute rush of happiness, as he realized no matter what happened next, it had all been worth it.

Izzie turned over, trembling slightly, realizing her hair was still a little damp from the _hot_ shower sex and swallowing she felt her mouth was completely dry. She sat up, shivering some more as she exclaimed. "Okay, Alex, you seriously need to get a bed, with pillows and a duvet."

"I'm on it," he replied with a cheeky grin.

"I'm going to get a glass of water, you want one?" She said smiling back at him.

"Sure." Alex replied.

She pulled back the sheet covering them both, before scrabbling around in the moonlight, trying to find her clothes from the messy pile of both her and Alex's discarded clothes on the bedroom floor next to them. Putting her hand up to shield the moonlight from her face, as she said playfully. "Okay, the first thing we need to get you is a blind. How is anyone supposed to sleep with the moon this bright…"

"Oh, I don't know. I think it's kind of romantic…" He said playfully with a smirk, not even bothering to pretend he wasn't staring directly at her naked form as she searched through their pile of clothes for her underwear in the moonlight.

"Really?" She replied raising her eyebrows and cursing to herself as she still tried to locate her bra and panties, finally settling for throwing on Alex's shirt, instantly feeling comforted as she breathed in his scent from it. Looking over to see Alex was propped up on his elbows watching her and she smiled back at him a little shyly, as she left the room.

With Izzie gone the room suddenly felt strangely empty. Alex was more than used to sleeping alone, but somehow even in just the few seconds that she had been gone, he felt alone and he missed her. It had all come flooding back to him so easily, how good it felt to lie next to her, to hear her breathing, to feel her body next to his.

But he really wasn't sure what was going on, if he was just setting himself up for a huge fall again. Because no matter how good it felt to be with her, he couldn't easily lay his heart on the line again, not this time. He had too much to lose.

Still shivering, Izzie walked back in and passed Alex a glass of water as she quickly threw off his shirt and lay down on the floor next to him again pulling the sheet around them as she immediately felt his arm wrap around her and she shifted around to get closer to him.

"Nice shirt," he remarked as he looked over to where it lay on the floor next to them.

"Seriously, all this closet space and our clothes are lying in a crumpled heap on the floor," she said, giggling a little as she snuggled even closer against his chest.

"I don't actually think hanging up our clothes was really top priority when we removed them, do you?" He said, as she felt his hot breath tickling her neck.

"Oh, yeah, and what was top priority?" She replied as she turned around to face him. Already feeling the answer to her question pressed up against her and their eyes locked as neither of them spoke for a moment.

"Iz, what are we doing?" He eventually said gently, as he stroked her hair affectionately and looked at her a little intensely.

She paused before saying tentatively, "I don't know…..Having fun, I guess."

There was another brief silence as Alex worked himself up to finally say what had been on his mind the entire day. Without removing his gaze from her face he laced his fingers through hers and said slightly awkwardly. "Because, you know if you like, you could have half that walk in closet. Because I'm not going need all that space and…"

Izzie quickly felt a rush of butterflies, she was pretty sure he was asking her to become a serious fixture in his life again, in a typical 'Alex' kind of way. Although it was certainly an improvement on the backwards way he had first suggested they get serious all those years ago. Her lips curled up in to a small smile as she studied his face and confused he narrowed his eyes suspiciously as he said. "What?"

"Oh, nothing, just for a moment there I thought you were going to ask, if we were still screwing other people."

"Shut up." He replied as he half smiled himself and looked away a little embarrassed that she was laughing at him.

The smile slowly disappeared from Izzie's face, as she chewed her lower lip and said. "Alex, I have a job and a life in New York."

"I know and I'm not asking you to give that up. I'm just saying maybe weekends or whatever." He replied a little dismissively, trying to hide the emotion from coming through in his voice and sound as casual as possible. He wasn't sure if he could handle it if she gave him some 'lets be friends' crap now. Because he was pretty certain they'd gone way beyond that.

Izzie sighed as she gently pulled her hand away from his and placed it on his chest, tickling him with her long blond hair as she lifted her head up slightly. He was making himself vulnerable again, he was willing to let her in again. But that alone wasn't enough of a guarantee that he wouldn't hurt her again, he wouldn't push her away at the first sign of trouble and that panicked Izzie. But she also knew that what he had just said was a huge deal for Alex and he deserved something back from her. She would have to be the first one to say it, if they were to ever have a chance of moving forward and gulping she blurted out. "Alex, _I love you_, I've always loved you and I probably always will and I 'still' want to be with you more than anything. But, I've finally got my life back on track and I'm not getting any younger and I don't think I could handle it if we just have a fling that goes wrong."

Alex felt a sharp stabbing pain in his chest, he had known deep down that Izzie still loved him but to hear her say it with such passion, just reinforced what he wanted even more as he said. "Iz, I'm not getting any younger either and I've spent the last few years trying to make some sort of sense of my life, trying to figure out where I should be and I poured everything in to my career and I just presumed marriage and kids would come later. Every time I tried to get close to anyone I just found a reason to push them away, because it just felt like second best, because I could never stop thinking about you…._I love you, Iz._ Having you back in my life and being with you again these past few days, has made me realize I want another a shot at a life with you, now more than ever. If that means we have to just see each other at weekends whist we finish our fellowships, then I'll take that. But, honestly I would want to see you every day if I could."

Izzie smiled as her eyes glistened with tears and she whispered. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." He replied as he kissed her."Lets give things another shot."

...


	6. Chapter 6

Alex frowned, as he scanned through the muddled chart in front of him and his body suddenly tensed, as he sensed an abrupt female presence side up next to him. Out of the corner of his eye, there was no mistaking the familiar dark curls of his friend and co-worker, Cristina Yang.

"Where have you been? Meredith's been looking for you. She's been trying to contact you all weekend. You missed her drinks thing, for Derek." Cristina said, as dressed in the same dark blue scrubs as Alex, she arched an eyebrow and stared at him intently.

Alex didn't look up, he thought perhaps if he ignored her long enough she'd go away, no such luck though, as she went on to say. "You know, even though _you_ clearly don't give a crap, you could at least pretend. Meredith's the only person around here that actually gives a rat's ass about you anymore."

Clearly irritated at his lack of reaction, Cristina carried on her verbal assault. "She thinks you've gone. Just taken off and not bothered to say goodbye."

At this Alex flinched, surely they knew him better than that. He looked up from his chart to meet her eye for a split second as he said casually. "I was in New York, ….with Izzie."

Cristina's mouth suddenly gaped open, her eyes wide with curiosity, as she said "_Izzie?_ As in, your ex-wife, Izzie?"

"Well, I don't know any other Izzie's, do you?" Alex mumbled, as he looked away again.

Cristina shook her head. "Seriously, if you wanted some break up sex that badly, you didn't need to go all the way to New York. I'm sure there are enough of your ex's scattered around this place, to keep you busy for quite some time…And, what is Izzie doing in New York anyway?"

Alex turned and looked back down at his chart. He felt a slight twinge of irritation that Cristina was referring to Izzie so flippantly. But he knew Cristina well enough by now, to know she didn't mean it. Cristina had really missed Izzie over the last couple of years, she had been badly burned by Izzies leaving too, and she was just trying to get a reaction from Alex now.

Snapping the chart shut, and placing it back on top of the nurses' station, Alex turned back to Cristina and said casually, with the faintest smug smile creeping on to his face, "Who said anything about '_break up'_ sex?" Before he turned to walk away, knowing full well she would follow him, she wouldn't have seen that coming.

Quickening her pace to match Alex's, Cristina marched along beside him, her thick dark hair, bobbing up and down as she said sharply and hurriedly. "Okay, details?"

Alex had never been so glad to hear his pager go off, as it beeped violently from his pocket. Pulling it out and looking at it, he smiled arrogantly and said to Cristina. "Sorry, I'd love to stop and chat but I got an emergency to get to." Leaving Cristina stood in the corridor pouting, as she watched him rush away.

…

It was several hours later, when Alex finally found the time to grab a well-deserved coffee, after attending to the emergency patient, probably one of his last at Seattle Grace Mercy West.

As he stood in line at the coffee cart, he suddenly spied a visibly pregnant Meredith walking towards him.

"There you are," Meredith said, sounding slightly pissed. "I've been trying to call you. You didn't show up for Derek's birthday party. I was worried."

"Sorry," Alex said, looking her directly in the eye.

Meredith scowled, as she glared at him and placing a hand firmly on her dainty hip, she said. "Well, I just spoke to Cristina. She said you were in New York, with Izzie! What's going on, Alex?...What's Izzie doing in New York?"

"Working," he replied casually, taking a sip of his coffee as he fumbled in his pocket for some loose change.

"Doing what?" Meredith said curiously and with slight irritation. Over the years, Alex had felt sure Meredith had wanted to keep in touch with his ex-wife and one of her former best friends, but somehow circumstances had prevented it.

Alex then thought about saying that maybe Meredith should ask her husband what Izzie was doing in New York, but thought better of it, as he replied. "Surgery fellowship, she passed her boards too."

Meredith paused, a look of shock crossing her face as she went on to say. "So, are you getting back together then?" Her question phrased in such a way, that implied she already knew the answer, fully expecting him to just deny it.

Alex shrugged, as he put the money down for his coffee and said "We're trying to work things out, yeah."

Meredith's jaw dropped, she was completely lost for words for a second. It was evident that she had certainly not expected him to say that. But Alex didn't care. He knew his friends would be surprised that he was back with Izzie. But he also knew, that they had no idea how much he still loved her.

He sipped his coffee some more and just looked over at Meredith expectantly, waiting for the inevitable flurry of questions about what he was doing. But this time it was Meredith's pager causing a welcome interruption to an awkward conversation for Alex. As it beeped angrily, Meredith glanced down at her waist immediately, her hair flopping over her face, as she exclaimed. "Damn, I've got to go. This conversation isn't finished though, Alex. You're meeting me for a drink later…"

Watching her march away, Alex knew, _that_, was more of a demand than a request, as he prepared himself for just what he was going to say to her.

* * *

Alex sipped his beer, as he glanced at Meredith sat on the stool next to him, in their once favourite spot in Joes bar. Hitting him with nostalgia. He would soon be leaving the place he had called home for the past nearly eight years of his life. But everything was different now, they weren't interns anymore. They had grown up. They were responsible attendings. Meredith and Cristina were married, Meredith pregnant too. Whilst Alex had been sinking in to a lonely, regretful existence. His life growing emptier and emptier. But now for the first time in a long time he was actually starting to think that maybe he did have a chance at the kind of happiness his friends had too.

"So, you really think it's going to work this time with Izzie?" Meredith said, fixing him with an intense stare.

He sighed , "I don't know. But, do any of us really know if anything is going to work out at the end of the day?" He replied philosophically as she nodded her head.

"True," Meredith responded, as she swirled her drink around in it's glass with her straw.

"I guess, it just feels right, _really_ right this time… She's changed, really changed. She's back to the girl I fell in love with all those years ago." Alex said, as he stopped, to pause and reflect. It had taken him a long time to be able to discuss his feelings and open up like this to anyone. He had always been so closed, so defensive with everyone, but slowly over the years of their friendship, Meredith had managed to access a side of him that he had always kept so deeply locked away. She was a true friend and Alex knew he would miss her like crazy when he finally left for Hopkins in a few days time.

"Well, if you're sure it's the right thing to do. Than I'm happy for you, you deserve it." Meredith said slowly.

Alex sighed again. "I don't know, Mer. She's doing really well, she's become this great doctor at a top hospital. Everyone seems to love her there, and she has this big group of friends that she sees all the time, and she looks amazing. I mean, _really_ freaking amazing. So, I'm still trying to figure out, why she would want to go backwards with me. After everything that happened."

Meredith placed her hand gently on top of Alex's, as she said. "Alex, Izzie was always crazy about you, even when she was pretending not to be. She loved you, just as much as you loved her. Her leaving and your divorce, that was down to all the horrible things that happened to her, the cancer and George dying and her getting fired. It was never anything to do with how much she loved you. You can see that now, can't you?"

Alex stared down at his drink, as he replied gently. "Yeah, I know…" It had taken him a long time to see things from Izzie's point of view. To shake off the bitterness he'd carried around for years, at how much she'd hurt him.

"I take it this means, you're definitely leaving then," Meredith went on to say, her eyes projecting a hint of sadness.

"Yeah, I guess it does." Alex replied, smiling gently at his old friend. It was ironic how close they had become, given how much she'd despised him at first when they had met as interns. It was only when Izzie had given him a chance that Meredith had realised he wasn't the total douche that everyone had always thought he was.

"You're doing the right thing," she suddenly said as he looked back at her with surprize.

"Don't get me wrong. I don't want you to go and I'll really miss you. But, it's a great opportunity for you at Hopkins, and well I never told you this before, but I always thought it was a huge mistake, you letting Izzie go and ending things like that."

"Thanks….. I think" Alex said, as he looked at Meredith, to see she was smiling too.

"Just, don't be a stranger, okay," Meredith added as she rubbed her pregnant stomach and added, "This little one, is going to be wanting some playmates soon," she teased, laughing.

"Right," he replied, laughing a little awkwardly too as he felt his cheeks flush, he was desperate to become a Dad, and now finally it seemed as though there could be a real possibility that it would happen with Izzie.

"I mean it, Alex…. And thanks," Meredith said as she stopped laughing and looked at him more seriously.

"What for?" He said confused.

She leaned over and threw her arms around him as she said fondly,"For just being _you!_"

* * *

a/n – If anyone is still reading, I hope you liked this chap. I really wanted to write a chapter about Alex and his friends, I love his friendship with Meredith. And, I really wish something like this would happen on the show, because from what I've seen, season 9 Alex has been a bit of a snooze fest!

(Oh and please keep reviewing and letting me know what you think and if you want to read more!)


	7. Chapter 7

A/N - You guys persuaded me to write more. I love that there are still Lexzie shippers out there :)

ps. This was probably my favourite chapter to write so far.

* * *

Alex smiled to himself as he stepped out of the shower and in to the steamed up bathroom as he heard Izzie letting out a loud excited scream from their bedroom. She was probably on the phone to one of her friends back in New York he thought. It wasn't unusual for her to get overly excited at some news or gossip from her old hospital back there.

Wrapping a towel around his waist, still dripping wet from the shower, and with an amused smile on his face, Alex walked back in to the bedroom to join her.

Izzie was lounging on the bed wearing just a pair of black lacy panties and bra with her long blonde hair spilling over her shoulders. She grinned as she looked up and saw him and he noticed she was clutching his phone.

"Sorry," she exclaimed, "I couldn't help myself it was a message from Meredith. They had a healthy baby boy," she added excitedly, grinning. Alex knew Izzie had been looking forward to getting the news about Meredith's baby for the past couple of weeks, ever since Meredith's due date had come and gone. Alex didn't quite get what all the fuss was about himself, but Izzie had always loved these kind of things, weddings, babies, holidays.

"Oh, that's great, I guess," Alex said as he rubbed his damp body with the towel and his sopping wet hair dripped on to the carpet.

"Well aren't you going to ask how the delivery went? What they called him? How much he weighed?" Izzie questioned as she shuffled over to the edge of the bed, to get closer to him.

"Ah, I never get why you chicks get so hung up on stuff like that. The kids here and okay, isn't that all that matters? I mean it was born at Seattle Grace Mercy West after all." He joked. He was pleased Meredith had, had her baby with no complications, he knew how anxious she had been about it. But he also saw enough babies being born under stressful circumstances at work, to want to know all the gory details from his friends birth.

"No, that's not all that matters," Izzie protested playfully. "Finding out the details is all part of the fun!"

"Whatever," Alex said as he continued to dry himself, smiling and shaking his head slightly.

"You should call her anyway, Alex. Congratulate her in person." Izzie said looking intensely at her husband.

"Nah, I'll send her a message later or something," Alex said as he continued to rub himself with the towel. He was pleased for Meredith, but he was far too busy at Hopkins to actually take the time to call her. He'd send her a quick message or something later that evening.

"Alex, you should call her, she'd want to hear from you." Izzie insisted.

"Iz, she's just had a freaking baby and this is Meredith we're talking about, so she's probably freaking out about something as we speak, so the last thing she'd want to do would be to speak to me.. I know what, why don't _you_ call her? Then you can talk all girly and baby together and cut out the middle man."

Izzie quickly shook her head and looked away. She still hadn't spoken to Meredith since she and Alex had got married again, despite Alex reassuring her that Meredith would want to hear from her. Izzie just felt unsure of what she would say or just where she would start after so much time had gone by.

"Well, she had a natural delivery, he weighed a whopping nine pounds and they haven't decided on a name yet. Knowing those two they're probably still arguing about it." Izzie said changing the subject slightly with a smile, before her eyes suddenly reflected a tinge of sadness.

Alex knew Izzie was desperate to be a Mom herself, to have a baby of her own, their own. He was too, but he wanted them to just enjoy each other for a bit first, without all the inevitable stress and strain trying for a baby would put on their marriage. Good things happened to him so infrequently that when they did Alex had learnt to savour every moment. He knew that this time around the timing was completely right for him and Izzie, they had both grown up and were deadly serious about each other, but that didn't stop him from being convinced that sooner or later something would happen to put a spanner in the works. It always did.

Izzie had moved down to Baltimore a couple of months ago. After just a few weeks of commuting from New York at weekends, she had decoded that their life together was more important than a job. That she could get another one, they wouldn't be able to take the time back so easily. Alex hadn't wanted to put any pressure on her, but he was secretly over the moon when she had brought the subject up of moving to Baltimore permanently. He knew now that he'd found her again, he didn't want to spend a single second apart form her if he didn't have to. He also knew that she had plans to put her career on hold for a while once they started a family and therefore they had decided between them that for the time being his career would come first.

"Iz," Alex said as he moved towards her wanting to take her pain away as he looked at her sad eyes. The sudden movement causing his towel to fall to the floor, fully exposing himself to her. And a wide mischievous grin instantly crept on to Izzie's lips as her eyes quickly lit up, as she took in the sight of her, just out of the shower, naked and well endowed husband standing in front of her. Causing a tingle of arousal to spread through her, and she opened her legs slightly as she reached out and put her arms around his waist, pulling him towards her, causing them to both tumble back on to the bed.

"Iz," Alex protested this time as she let out a flirty giggle, pressing him further in to her as a damp wet patch spread across the bed sheets where he was still wet from his shower.

"Iz, you know I can't be late for rounds," Alex protested further, pinning her hands down on the bed as he subtly moved away from her before he knew he would get too carried away to be able to stop himself. He had really had to step up his game at Hopkins. He was competing amongst the very best. Back in Seattle he would have thought nothing of turning up a few minutes late for rounds, or sneaking off in to an on call room with an intern when it was quiet. At Hopkins it was all different, he focused on nothing but being the best, and it was slowly making him realize just how unfulfilled and stuck in a rut he had really been back in Seattle. At Hopkins everyone knew him as the shithot new paediatric surgeon, happily married with a beautiful wife. No-one knew his history as evil spawn spreading STD's, making interns cry and fighting with his co-workers. Being with Izzie brought out the best in him.

"Besides you've still got to give me a chance to recover from last night," Alex chuckled as he raised his eyes suggestively at her as he climbed off the bed, rubbing his wet hair with his towel. Pretty much every night he hadn't been on call they had made love. Unable to keep their hands off each other.

Izzie bit her lip and smiled back at him as she drew her knees up to her chest and reached out for her phone. Scrolling through her emails as she said, "Oh, I had confirmation from Dr Carter's PA. I've got a meeting with him this week, to discuss a position in general surgery."

"That's great, Iz," he replied as he quickly threw on his underpants and pulled his shirt off its hanger turning his back to her as he did it up. Dr Carter was chief of surgery at Hopkins. For Izzie to get a meeting with him was quite some achievement. Alex had wanted to put a word in for her, but Izzie had insisted that he didn't, she wanted to secure the meeting off her own back.

"Guess my references paid off," Izzie beamed back at him. She had been working across town in a free clinic for the past couple of weeks, but Alex knew she was keen to get back in to surgery and he knew she deserved a position at Hopkins too, she had already prooved what she could do at her old hospital in New York.

"It's still early days though," she added as her smile disappeared.

"He'll love you, everyone loves you," Alex said as he did the belt up on his trousers. Before running some products through his hair, splashing on some after shave and kissing her quickly on the cheek. Turning to walk out of the bedroom.

Izzie leapt off the bed, throwing a charcoal grey cardigan on over her underwear as she followed him across the hall and in to the kitchen to take his lunch out of the fridge. "Here you go, your favourite pastrami sandwiches," she said as she passed it to him, leaning up against the fridge looking like she had just stepped out of a lingere commercial.

Putting his lunch it in to his bag and shaking his head a little, Alex wondered just when he had crossed over from single, womanizing player and all round douche, to married respectable guy, whose wife makes him a packed lunch to take in to work. Despite now being the kind of guy he always used to laugh at, in a word his life was nothing but awesome he thought, as looked back at his wife, before he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek as he said, "Thanks," whispering, "I love you."

"I love you too, have a good day" Izzie replied, and watching him walking out of the door she felt an immense rush of pride. He was every bit the big shot attending now, just as she had always known he would be.

* * *

"Okay, I'm going to need you to calm down for me a minute, Jess," Alex said calmly to the terrified young girl screaming on the bed in front of him. "This will only take a second, then we can take your pain away I promise." He added gently as her screams got louder.

"Do something," the young patient's mother said in a high pitched, terrified voice next to Alex.

"Jess, Jess, look at me," Alex said as he moved past her mother and closer to the girl. "Just take a deep breath and imagine you're somewhere else, you're hanging out with your friends at the mall. Or, you're at a Justin Bieber concert," he said his eyes fixed on her terrified face.

"Justin Bieber, eugh.." the young girl said in disgust as her body relaxed a little and Alex was able to press his fingers in to her abdomen, deep in concentration as he quickly said. "Oh, okay then so who is the latest hot thing then?"

"One Direction, duh…" the girl replied, just as Alex prodded her sharply and she let out a loud scream.

"One Direction, must remember that," he said as he raised his eyebrows and smiled taking his hand away as he said swiftly. "Okay, its as I thought, its your appendix. I'm going to have to take it out straight away." He said turning to the pale and panic stricken face of the girls mother, as he explained, "It's a very simple procedure, all being well, you'll be out of here in a couple of days and back to listening to One Direction with your friends," he added turning to his young patient again.

"You're so great with her," The girl's mother said in awe as Alex scribbled some notes in to her daughter's patient chart. "I bet you're a great Dad, your own kids are very lucky." she added pausing and smiling at him.

Alex took a deep breath as without looking up from the chart he said quickly, "Ah, my wife and I haven't got any kids yet."

"Well, you'll make a wonderful father when you do decide to have them," she replied kindly.

* * *

"Sorry, I couldn't make that meeting earlier, I had an emergency appendicectomy to perform." Alex said later that day as he bumped in to his boss, Dr Matthews, head of Paediatrics.

"No worries, we can catch up tomorrow. You've been working your ass off, Karev. Why don't you take off early tonight? Go and take that lovely wife of yours out for the evening." The older man said to Alex.

"Oh, that's okay. I mean I still have finished my post ops…" Alex mumbled unsure of how to react, he didn't want to get a reputation as a slacker.

"I mean it, Karev. I've seen too many marriages fall apart because of this place. You don't want to end up like me, a lonely old divorcee, my wife left me for our accountant, after she told me she'd finally realised my first love was this place…How long you been married for anyway? You guys must be wanting to start a family soon too, eh? " He added curiously.

Alex fidgeted a little awkwardly. The last thing he wanted to do was get in to conversations with his new co-workers about his and Izzie's past.

Sensing Alex tense up, his boss then added with a chuckle, "You know what, don't answer that, I'm sure you're working on it already… So, go on, get out of here, let your interns do your dirty work for you. You've done your time at the bottom of the food chain, now go and enjoy your evening with your wife and tell Dr Stevens I said hello. A woman like that you want to hold on to, Karev." He added as he patted Alex firmly on the back and shot him a friendly smile.

"Thanks," Alex said smiling back, realizing that his boss meant every word.

* * *

Izzie took a sip of her wine as she pushed her food around its plate, watching her husband hungrily tucking in to his steak opposite her.

"I saw the OBGYN today, Dr Redman," she suddenly blurted out. Causing him to stop chewing mid mouthful and look at her. "Sorry I didn't mention it to you earlier, but I managed to get a last minute cancellation when I enquired today."

"Dr Redman, how'd you manage that? She's the best OBGYN in the city," he replied as he swallowed and took a gulp of his wine.

"Oh, well I might have happened to mention that I was married to the hottest, most talented young paediatric surgeon this city has seen for a long time." She said smiling.

"Well can't argue with that," he replied arrogantly as he paused, waiting for her to continue.

"She ran some tests and did a general check after I explained my history." Izzie said as her face became more serious and she continued, "There aren't any obvious problems, and I'm still having periods which is a good sign. The chemo didn't completely wreck my reproductive system, but…" And a small tear slid down her cheek as her lower lip trembled a little and she said. "but…it's still going to be a lot harder for us than it would have been before."

With his eyes full of concern, Alex looked over slightly helpless at his wife as her eyes brimmed with more tears and she said, "What if it doesn't happen for us, Alex? It will be all my fault."

He reached for her hand as he said gently, "It will never be all your fault, Iz. We're in this together, and it _will_ happen for us. We can try for a bit and if it doesn't work out, we have other options, remember?"

She nodded as she dabbed her eyes with the corners of her napkin and he gripped her hand tighter as he looked deep in to her eyes and said. "I want us to have a family, believe me I do. I want to play ball with my son and be all over protective of my beautiful daughter who's the spitting image of her mother…But really, Iz, as much as I want those things, _I want you more." _

Izzie smiled back at him through her tears, slowly starting to realize that although it wouldn't be easy they would face what was to come together, she was no longer alone.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N - This chap is a little fluffy, but I'm fed up with being heart broken over the show, so I think we need this update :)

* * *

"Okay, so you know where the spare wipes are kept and the diaper bags and you've checked the batteries in the monitor?" Izzie said anxiously, her eyes fixed on Alex's face.

"Yes," Alex replied on autopilot as he gently patted the back of their tiny baby son, from where he had him resting over one shoulder, muslin cloth hung over the other.

"Okay and I expressed enough for three bottles, they're in the fridge labelled by order, and you know to warm them up in the bottle warmer? Don't use the microwave," Izzie continued frantically.

"Yeah, yeah," Alex said unable to tear his eyes away from his minute 'mini- me' as he carefully lifted him down to cradle him against his chest.

"Don't put too many blankets on him either? Remember, too cold cry, too hot die…" Izzie continued to rant at him furiously, as Alex gently shook her hand stopping her mid sentence, saying, "Izzie, Iz…Relax…I'm a pediatrician, I think that qualifies me to take care of my own son, on my own for a few hours."

"Right, right, sorry. Oh and there's some left over chicken in the fridge for you and you can warm up some mashed potato, but remember to wash your hands after handling.." Izzie said, before stopping to compose herself, if she wasn't careful, very quickly she was going to turn in to one of those mothers she swore she would never be, a neurotic nervous wreck!

Alex gently put their beautiful baby boy down in his white and lemon, fluffy bunny patterned crib, checking he was comfortable several times, before he turned his attention back to his wife. "Iz, relax we'll be fine. Adam's fine, I'm fine. You just concentrate on you." Normally he would have lost his cool with her constant nagging by now, but he knew he had to keep it together for her. She needed him, they both did, he thought as he looked back down at their tiny son. It was Izzie's first trip out without him, and to say she was stressing slightly about leaving her baby was an understatement. She was going in to the hospital to discuss her return to work and it was a huge deal for her. Alex wanted her to remain a stay at home Mom for as long as she needed. He knew he earned enough to take care of everything. But Izzie didn't want to lose her confidence again, she had worked her whole life to make it as a surgeon and having worked so hard to re-build all that after her cancer, she was terrified of having to do it again, and Alex respected that. Although he knew she wouldn't be ready to make the leap until Adam was a good few months older and even then he wasn't convinced it would be for her. Unlike Meredith and Cristina, Izzie had always expressed an interest in wanting to be a Mom first, doctor second.

"Okay, okay," Izzie replied as she turned to smooth down her dress in the mirror behind her, rubbing her freshly glossed lips together and tucking her shiny blonde hair behind her ear several times. She just couldn't help it she felt a mess. The cracked nipples, nursing bras and elasticised waist bands didn't help either.

"Relax, you look gorgeous," Alex said as if reading her thoughts as he took her hand and planted a light kiss on the side of her cheek.

"Thanks," Izzie said smiling, knowing he meant every word. He didn't care about the extra pounds she was still carrying, the bags under her eyes, or her swollen breasts, he just loved her. Her face instantly lighting up as she looked back at him, making him feel warm inside. Before she quickly said, "You have the number of my department, in case there is no signal for my cell?"

"Yes," Alex said rolling his eyes a little, before kissing her one last time before she finally walked out the door.

"Just you and me then, Buddy," Alex said with Izzie gone, as he wandered back in to the front room to see the big round eyes of his son staring back at him. Adam had the Karev nose, mouth and dark hair, but his eyes were all Izzie's.

"Okay, Adam, you just wait there a sec, pal," Alex said. Their baby had remained nameless for a couple of days as he and Izzie, both equally stubborn couldn't agree on a name. Izzie had been adamant she had wanted to call him George. Alex knew he was being a slight ass given the circumstances, but he just couldn't bring himself to name his son after one of his wife's ex-lovers. He had wanted something more manly like Bruce or Bradley, to which Izzie had been equally unwilling to budge. Instead Adam had been one of the few names they had both agreed on and looking down at his son now, Alex just couldn't imagine calling him anything else.

Just as Alex was about to wander in to the kitchen to make himself something to eat, he heard the start up of the familiar shrill high pitched wailing of his baby. It really was true what they said, nature had a way of making you respond immediately to your own child's cries. Alex had been around countless new born babies in his line of work, he was more than used to hearing their endless cries of distress, some of them desperately sick too, but not once had it ever got to him quite like it did when it was his own little baby crying. So helpless, tiny and vulnerable, and Alex knew his son wasn't counting on him as his doctor to make him better, he was counting on him as his parent as the person that needed to love, protect and take care of him the most. It was a different feeling altogether.

"Okay, little guy," Alex said as he walked back in and scooped the little infant up in to his arms, rocking him gently, his tiny fists screwed up tightly as his little face grew redder and angrier. "Your Mommy isn't here I'm afraid, so you're stuck with me, your Daddy." Alex cooed as he continued to bounce him gently up and down. Dashing in to the kitchen to manoeuvre himself quickly to take a bottle of milk out of the fridge, switch on the bottle warmer and stick it in, all without expertly letting go of the baby.

"Ssh, sshh, shhh…" Alex said as he walked around the kitchen, waiting for the bottle to heat up still, whilst trying to calm little Adam down. "Here suck on this," he said as he gently put the knuckle of his little finger in to the baby's gummy mouth, and instantly there was silence as his son sucked away on it. "There we go, fella, that's better," Alex said softly as he perched down on one of the stools against the breakfast bar. Being a parent was without a doubt the hardest thing he had ever done in his life and nobody warned you of that fact either. Alex was used to sleepless nights, 24 hour shifts, performing life saving surgeries under immense pressure on really sick kids, but all of that paled in to insignificance compared to being a parent. The responsibility without a team of medical professionals there to back you up, the paranoia, the feeling of being so helpless as you endured the endless crying of your baby for no reason at all, together with the tearful mood swings of your wife, on top of also being woken up every couple of hours. While he tried to do the non douche like thing and do his fair share of the night feeds and diaper changing. Looking after both his wife and child. It was tough. But worth every minute, he thought as he looked down at the little face of his and Izzie's beautiful little miracle baby.

Sitting back down on the sofa, Alex very carefully replaced his finger with the warm bottle and breathed a small sigh of relief as he watched his son quickly start to guzzle it down contently. He certainly took after his father when it came to his healthy appetite, Alex thought with a proud smile as he supported his tiny little head. Feeding his son, gave him such indescribable joy.

Once he had drained the bottle, Alex sat him up on his lap, tapping him gently on the back to wind him, as his little eyes slowly glazed over as he quickly became milk drunk. Alex smiled at him and just for a second, he was sure little Adam smiled back. Alex has always laughed at the delusional parents of young babies, swearing they were smiling, when he secretly knew it was always just wind. But here now looking at Adam, it wasn't wind, it was definitely his first smile, Alex thought to himself as Adam gurgled slightly and reached out to wrap his tiny palm around his fathers finger.

Alex undid the front few buttons on his shirt and lay back on the sofa, delicately lying his baby against his bare chest as he stroked the soft fluff of his baby hair as Adam quickly started to drift off. Alex knew he should put him back in to his crib to sleep, but much as he would hate to admit it to anyone, Alex simply just couldn't bare to put him down.

Adam would always be special, but the circumstances around his arrival made it even more so. When he and Izzie had discussed starting a family, Alex had tried to be positive, but despite how optimistic he was in front of Izzie, he was also a doctor and realistically he knew the chances of them conceiving naturally were slim. He feared they would face years of heart break, of dashed dreams. He, himself would have settled for being childless if it meant he could enjoy a happy married life to Izzie, the woman he had been so hopelessly in love with right from the very first moment he had laid eyes on her. But he also knew how much it meant to her to have a family and for that he had known he'd had to give it his all when they had decided to start trying.

When she had first started to get pregnancy symptoms they had both feared for the worst. The fatigue, dizzy spells, lack of concentration and crazy dreams had been so similar to her undiagnosed cancer symptoms that Alex had been terrified he was losing her all over again. The 24 hours it took to get her blood results back from the lab were the longest of his life and even then when the Oncologist had called them with the good news. Izzie must have bought every pregnancy test in Baltimore, before she would finally believe it.

Then there was the birth, Alex had never felt so helpless in his life and he had even once or twice nearly assaulted the male ob-gyn Izzie had chosen to deliver their child, when he hadn't seen eye to eye with the guy over Izzie's treatment plan. In contrast to the thousands of births he attended as a pediatrician, where he was used to being fully calm, cool and in control, that time when it was his wife lying in unbearable pain, Alex had been nothing but overwhelmingly out of control. But the minute he had held little Adam in his arms he had known that none of that mattered one bit as his eyes had teared up, staring down in amazement at the perfect little person he and Izzie had made together.

"Your Mommy doesn't like leaving you," Alex said as he continued to softly stroke his son's head, "Because she loves you very much. But she has nothing to worry about, because your Daddy loves you very much too. Your Daddy loves you more than anything in the world, and I'm going to make sure that you have the best life and every opportunity that I never had when I was growing up. You are going to be the happiest, most cared for little boy in the whole world and when you grow up, your Mommy and Daddy will love you no matter what. Whatever you want to be, wherever you want to go, we'll be here." He said in a low voice, knowing that no-one could hear him as he kissed the top of his sons head, breathing in his delicious baby smell. Alex knew if his co-workers both past and present could see him now they would be astonished. The softer side of Alex Karev was kept deeply locked away and reserved only for Izzie and now Adam too.

Sensing his sons breathing becoming more rhythmical, Alex relaxed a little more as he realized he would stay like this now until Izzie came home, and feeling his sons tiny little heart beating against his chest, he realized how grateful he was that after everything he had been through in his life, with his family, with Izzie, he now had everything he could possibly want. His life was awesome.


End file.
